![]() ![]() Excluding possibilities, running away from the unknown creates the perception of nightmare. What I have realized is that life is super weird and the only thing you can do is go further. Next time when it happens just be aware and check it out, maybe it contains new data, new insights about reality. So you can see we really direct our own horror movies. The mother is excited to hug her newborn baby. Positive framing of birth: A necessary pain required to produce the most beautiful thing in the world - a new piece of life. Negative framing of birth: A bloody tumor is tearing her vagina open and the mother is screaming from pain. Watching a mother give birth is the weirdest/scariest thing if you don't know what's going on. An orgasm is also scary if you are afraid of orgasms. ![]() How can someone who doesn't exist be scared? Obviously this experience is part of what is possible in life so why not just integrate it? Don't demonize it. If you were able to panic then your I didn't really dissipate. You feel like it's something precious that you need to protect. I talked to my mentor about depersonalization horror once and he said "Looks like they weren't depersonalized enough." LOL! The horror comes from your clinging to your default state of existence. For some, out of body experiences are a welcome entertainment, for others they are perceived as horror. There is no such thing as "truly horrible" it's just a perspective. The last episode happened a couple of days ago and I havent meditated since because I feel I could have another panick attack. So Im wondering, how the hell does this relate to enlightenement? I certainly dont think Im 1% enlightened, but I truly felt like I did not exist, and it was extremely scary, so whats the difference between this and enlightenent? And while meditating I have had this sense of emptiness before, but unlike the "depersonalization episodes", they have been extremely pleasant. ![]() Now, with that said, I am an avid meditator, do like 30 minutes of "do nothing" around 5 times a week. I then googled the symptoms and found depersonalization disorder, not that Im wanting to self-diagnose, but that was what most accurately described my experience to be honest. My heart started pounding really heavily, and I panicked, I was almost crying, and kept asking myself "am I going crazy? Where am I? I dont exist!". I truly felt like I was just, empty space. To try to describe it precisely, I felt like what was around me wasnt real in any physical sense, and that the "I" on which I rely upon to navigate through the world, abrubtly dissipated. ![]() So a couple of months passed by, and then I had that same experience again, out of the blue, while sober. My friends were laughing at me, and I kept saying that I felt like I was "out of my body", it was the most frightening experience Ive ever had. DEPERSONALIZATION FROM WEED HOW TOHowever, the other day while I was smoking, I experienced something truly horrible, and did not know how to explain it. Usually I have the normal experience of just feeling relaxed, and giggly. So I never really smoke weed, I have done so probably a maximum of 10 times in my entire life. ![]()
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